Oh my gosh. Look at you.
Look at your fingers! Your expression!
You are no longer my wee, grunting newborn. When I first met you, I loved you but I didn't know you.
60 some odd days later -- I know you now. We know you now.
I stare at you so much that it would be embarrassing or awkward if you were anyone else. I feel like I know your face more than I even know your Baba's, because all I do anymore is watch, riveted, while you sleep, eat, cry, poo, smile, laugh, think. (I've never stared at him as much. That would be creepy.)
Your cheeks have been kissed 1 billion times by Mama. I told your Dad the other day that you are now one of the top three dudes I have kissed most in my life (the winners being you, Baba, and the ex that shall not be named, LOL.)
You are sleeping as I write this, and I stop typing every few minutes because I think I hear you.
It's as if my heart literally falters for a minute-- I catch my breath and freeze. Is he crying out for me? Both of the last times this has happened in the past hour, it was a crow in the backyard.
Things that make you sad in Month 2:
- If I am even 5 seconds late with boob
- The pain of your fart gas bubbles.
As you can see, this list has not veered much from last month. You are predictably simple, pure, easy to please.
Things that make you happy in Month 2:
- Seeing Mama's face after she feeds you and cleans up your butt. It's as if you didn't know it was her doing it all this time, and then once your primary needs are met, you go "Hey! It's this lady again! I like her a lot."
- Bath time with your Dad. He gives you massages and is so careful and loving with you.
- When we play, "Who's that baby in the mirror?" You love your reflection and it is the cutest because you think it is another baby, and whoever you think he is, you get so bashful and sweeeeet in his presence.
- Pretending to participate in conversation. You are babbling up a storm, with all manner of expressions on your face. The other day, I was belting out Beyonce and you joined in with me at the top of your lungs.
This month, we went from the three of us goofs, pal-ing around every day to just you and me.
Baba had to go back to work after 7 weeks off with us, and it was really sad. It was and is a huge transition, since we all three got so used to our tight family unit. He was pretty bereft about it the night before he went back, and when he told you his big feelings, you looked at him as if you understood his pain.
Rest assured, not every day is magical. We are under slept, for sure. Sometimes I gesture for your dad to just take this baby from me, exasperated, but it is not from a lack of loving you. It's just that we used to have different identities before becoming your parents, and we are blindly finding our way to seeing if we can own both at the same time.
And yet -- We have been lucky peaches to get this baby bubble together.
Babes, I can't believe you and I have a 2 month old!
Some words from your beloved Dad:
I know, right? He is pretty great, that one.
In the daylight hours, it's mostly me and you now. Po Po and Gong Gong pop by a lot, and are a huge help to us. They are completely smitten with you and will teach you to speak Cantonese, hopefully better than I can.
On the days that it is just us, I feel my confident spine growing taller. I can fulfill your needs. I can push past fatigue and change your barfed-on outfit, just one more time. I can survive the hours of the work day until your father comes home.
I thank you for being patient with me as I sometimes flail. You forgive me so quickly.
Love you, Goof.
You are my favourite child I've ever had.