Sunday, August 30, 2015

Of Late: August Musings

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1/ CPH's cacti options are cooler than ours.    2/ I climb caves; I am athletic now

3/ Beauty + Stinky yin and yang   4/ Our living room respite in Aix

5/ Heaven       6/ Bride on the Thames 

7/ 31st bday London edition    8/ #truth

Of late...

August was// a privilege. 

In a 5 week trip away from home, there is room for a lot of different feelings. The main one I try to hold onto before all else, is that I am fortunate to have had the time, the means, the health and the support from husband to venture to these five vastly different countries... 

Like think about it for a second, Jo: are you kitten me?! What a beautiful life! What a lucky girl!

C'mon, complain a little// No.

Fine, Things that Weren't Your Fav about Europe?// Tap water (in everywhere except Iceland), hot pee summer smells, and that weird purple donkey organ sausage we ate in Lauris.

Things You'll Never Forget// Seeing a herd of a few hundred deer by an old castle in Denmark and almost fainting, my heart was so full. Watching my woman walk down the aisle to meet her man, and getting goosebumps from witnessing such a sacred moment.

Body// is a bit rumpled at the edges from carrying me through all the croissants and charcuterie, so I'm trying to heed her call. Hoping the sore throat and sniffles and tightness behind the eyes is not a houseguest for much longer.

Something happening tomorrow?// I wuz born! It's the last day of August, the last day of summer, and I turn an age I've always thought about. What a number, 31 is. What a champagne supernova. 

I hope that this year is just what it needs to be. Not the best year, or most special. Just exactly what it needs to be. 

On birthdays// They are so weird. (for me)

Like, we all have them. I'm not that special. My mom is the special one, really... she did all the hard work. She should probably get all my presents.

But every year since I can remember having birthdays, it feels like there's this extra pressure-- truly, an anvil full-- in my head that this particular day (or week, if I'm being honest) needs to be just so. Some sort of 24 hr barometer that measures how loved I am. In metaphor: how many jackets have I collected that would be willing to lay themselves on a puddle for me? 

A memory that illustrate my particular brand of birthday crazy: On my 16th birthday, my closest friends and I went to Earl's (fancy for high school) and my instructions before the party were that each guest should bring along one flower to give to me, so that I could collect them into a bouquet. Which I would then dry. So I could hold onto them forever, as a memento of this, most important of days. 


I am looking forward to getting older and older and not giving a shit about myself anymore. I hear it does happen, eventually.

This year, I felt loved by friends who danced with me past their bedtimes in London, and by a family that is making duck wraps, cake, and chinese checkers a favourite tradition.  

Uses for a Teleporter Time Machine // To have been able to be in the Yukon when C gave birth to baby Rowan, so we could meet our newest friend. Instead, we were stuck in an olive field in France and I ugly squealed/cried when we got Mike's update. 

To have been able to zap into Vermont for a very special 75th birthday :)

Feelings about the Future// Grey. I don't get it yet. There's something about starting a Master's program in there, and teaching again... but it is murky in my brain. 20,000 leagues of denial. Check back with me next month. 


Hey. You really make me feel great by always reading these sometimes nonsensical words. Thank you. I hope your August was just what you needed.

Love always,

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